I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
