he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
