Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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