your parents love me but you hate me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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