Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
