I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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