i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
