I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
jump out the window naked night went bad
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