just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They have beer where we have blood.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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