i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
