We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
