why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
