So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
