There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
