I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize