i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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