I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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