so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
