Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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