Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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