I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
