I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
