You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize