Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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