Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
