i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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