Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need a beard to bite.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
