he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
