Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize