I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
