how can u be prego again
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
