This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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