There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
