I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
