And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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