My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
