I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
