He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
