You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
