I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize