so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize