She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize