I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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