I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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