so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
