sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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