If that was your dad, he is hot
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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