omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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