Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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