He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
