Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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