I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
