let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
