dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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