my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
