So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
