Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
