Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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