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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
