doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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