oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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