I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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