Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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