How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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