i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
