That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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