That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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